Untold stories of life! A shadow of past! It is quiet and solemn heart that full of grimness. An eyes that are full of tears which has been kept for more than a decade. Those memories of droning bombs, gun shots, difficulties in survival, sickness, continual hungry, fears and anxieties. All of those self-struggle within and patience that need to be overcame in a day to day life.
Babu Fahima, a wife, a mother, that seeks justice from unjust situation. A woman who has been trying to find an answers for those queries of human consideration. An ordinary individual who wants to be freed from hardship but has to be patient even in a very worst scenario because it is the only option she had.
How would really a wound be healed by another violence?
“As I go along with a life of being an ordinary farmer woman, a wife and a mother of five children who lived in me and other three of them have died during the armed conflict,” Babu Fahima grievingly related.
“I still remember how my third child died in my womb because of having no food to eat with my sons and daughters, which compelled me to go for farming even I was pregnant,” she said.
“My husband left us in our house with no other words to say except ‘I have to go to the battle field in order to protect and to do something for the better future of my children and the next generations’,” she continued.
“As violence was happening, we have to evacuate! Nowhere to go except in a huddled evacuation center that would provide us our needs, however it is not enough. Having no even an option but to eat those unhealthy foods,” Babu Fahima narrated.
Children are becoming weak and got sick. As a mother, it hurts seeing my children unhappy and often hungry. However, I have to be strong because I needed to be strong. Sometime, it comes in my mind that, if only my husband is in my side, if only he has the choice to live with us to make his children more happy, then he will do it. But, I have also to understand his duty to protect our homeland against the injustices and the disbelievers. My husband needs to do this because it is obligatory, this is the command of Allah because it is all for saving the humanity,” she explained.
The grieving mother lamented the pain she had to endure seeing her children suffering from ailment and being hungry without her husband by her side. “It is really difficult to raise my children amidst the conflict without their father,” she said.
“How would I make things possible in order that my children believed in me without questioning the absence of their father that they always wish to be in their side. Pains, repeated. Again, it hurts deeper and deeper! But, my hope for peace is still within me,” Babu Fahima said.
“Often times I am running out of reasons when my children asked me where their father was. Seeing our children yearning to see their father really hurts me a lot,” the teary-eyed Babu Fahima further related.
“Though I have endured the different armed conflicts brought to the oppressors who seem not to want peace, I still believe, in shaa Allah (if Allah wills), that in His time, justice will prevail and peace will reign,” she hoped.
“I believe that the peace process that hurdled challenges through the hard work of the leadership of Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF) will prosper and lead us to justice and prosperity of our people. And I believe that the Bangsamoro Basic Law that would bring the normalization in the Bangsamoro homeland will surely address our needs such as better education for our children and sooner it will make us live with peace and harmony,” Babu Fahima said.
Babu Fahima is now become more hopeful as an individual being a woman, wife for her husband and a mother for her children. “I told to myself, time comes I can live without fear nor hunger with my husband and our children,” Fahima further said.